Are you looking for the perfect scary movie to raise the hairs on the back of your neck this Halloween? Let the stars in the sky choose the right one for you. Jared Cotter is talking with celebrity astrologer Penny Thornton to find out the best horror flicks based on your zodiac sign.
A no-brainer: Aries, the celestial Ram, has an affinity with all things lamblike. Plus, Hannibal Lector is the quintessential Aries monster - Aries rules the head and the teeth, and although not known for cannibalism is still is one of the zodiac’s great carnivores.
Alternate Choice: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) – Speaking of cannibalism and carnage – audiences never quite got over the blood and gore of one of the first films to earn the categorization of “torture porn”. The titular weapon of choice is wielded as a tool of mass destruction; something Aries, if he doesn’t keep his temper in check, can be very good at.
Taurus is associated with nature and this film’s settings and characters, especially the faun, reflect many of this sign’s images and themes. Curiously, the director’s name. Guillermo del Toro means William, the Bull.
Alternate Choice: Minotaur – Aside from the bull connection to the sign, mythology is so routed in our own history, that realistic Taurus doesn’t mind this kind of fantasy. They’re also not very keen on being scared, so this milder tale isn’t so terrifying.
Gemini is the journalist of the zodiac so this makes absolute sense as the Gemini horror film. Gemini has a dark side, which has some echoes of Scorpio to it – the underground of life – and, of course, Gemini is the Peter Pan of the zodiac who wants to be forever young.
Alternate Choice: The Shining – Following the theme of “the writer”, Geminis can identify with the Jack Torrence’s writer’s block. Most of us stop short of murderous madness, but then, no one is perfect…
This mother-possessed psychopath is a character with Cancer written all over him. This sign is synonymous with motherhood. Even the famous shower sequence is reflective of Cancer – water, the breasts, sensuality, life and death.
Alternate Choice: Rosemary’s Baby – Another nod to the maternal nature of Cancerians, Rosemary’s Baby shocked America with its demonic themes and twisted ending that takes advantage of the very nature of being a mother.
Fire plays a huge part in this Stephen King horror movie. Dormant powers are awakened in Carrie as she enters womanhood, and she evokes a terrible punishment on those who have abused her. Leo – a fire sign - wreaks a dreadful revenge on those who offend him or her. Never dis a Leo
Alternate Choice: Phantom of the Opera (1925)- Much darker than the modern versions, the original stars legendary character actor Lon Chaney. Leo is the ultimate drama king or queen, whose passion burns as bright as a fire sign can. The Phantom’s love burns until the end of time, proving that true love never dies.
The serial-killer-heroine of this horror film is a student of criminology, and Virgo is synonymous with education and academic establishments. Mila Kunis commits the perfect crime – and what is Virgo if not a perfectionist – by returning to confront her professor two years after her “death” in a car crash.
Alternate Choice: The Wickerman (1973)- Let’s just pretend Nicholas Cage’s remake didn’t happen. Virgo’s are the sign most attracted to the Pagan world. Not only does the Christopher Lee original delve into Paganism, but also the ideas of fertility and ritual. Perfect for the Virgo obsessed with ancient religions.
In Libra land the appearance of things is what matters. And in the imaginary Connecticut suburb of Stepford, everything looks perfect. Behind the scenes, however, the women are being replaced by robots… The scene in the supermarket with the straw-hatted wives in maxi-dresses wheeling their carts to the background of inane piped music is iconic.
Alternate Choice: The Love Witch – A horror film that is beautiful to watch. Libra’s will enjoy the cinematography almost as much as the tension and suspense.
Transformation and metamorphosis come under the celestial umbrella of Scorpio and its ruler, Pluto. A scientist’s DNA is fused with that of a fly when the insect gets into his teleportation device. Scorpios are the extremists of the zodiac, and many of the scenes involving Brundle’s metamorphosis have a desperate edge to them.
Alternate Choice: Poltergeist – Scorpio’s are all about communication and penetration into other worlds. Poltergeist not only communicates with the “other side” through the television, but actually manages to travel to another dimension through thought and physical barriers.
Sagittarius and flight have a connection. Not just the arrows that fly from the Archer’s bow, but Jupiter, its ruling planet, has an affinity with birds. There is an attract-repel mechanism operating with Sagittarians and birds which Hitchock brilliantly captures.
Alternate Choice: Scream- All of the installations of the Scream series could be binge watched by the Sagittarian who loves to laugh. And who can think of a more well-known film franchise that’s filled with humor and horror?
Capricorn reveres age and tradition, thus this black and white silent film is perfect for this Saturn-ruled sign. Plus, the setting – a castle in Transylvania - is pure Capricorn.
Alternate Choice: Inquisition (1978) – Capricorns love classics and they love history. This classic Spanish-language film is a mesmeric tail of historical authenticity of the horrors of the Spanish Inquisition.
Aquarians are the scientists of the zodiac, so the concept of three students embarking on a documentary about a local legend ticks a lot of boxes. Plus, the making of the film was very experimental – 35 pages of story line but no script: the actors had to improvise. Pure Aquarius.
Alternate Choice: Alien – Again, playing on the scientist in the Aquarian, but this time our scientists and our monster are in space.
A lake, apparitions in bathwater, writing on steamed mirrors - Pisces in a bottle. Everything about this film is not what it seems. And Pisces is all about illusion and deception.
Alternate Choice: The Thing – Pisces is also about illusion, magic, and shape-shifting. What better than a modern fright fest coming from a monster that takes the shape of whatever it touches?
Big thanks to Penny Thornton! Be sure to pick up her book, The Zodiac Cooks!
What's your favorite scary movie? Join the conversation!