Having a disagreement with your partner about money happens. It's a tough subject for couples, causing a fair share of arguments. When one partner's priority is the 401k, and the other's is a BMW, friction is bound to happen. Luckily, there are tips you can follow to keep these discussions from getting too heated. Here's your list on how to fight right about money!
Financial behaviorist Syble Solomon says that, in most cases, couples never really fight about money itself. Instead, partners are truly fighting about what money represents to them. As it turns out, money can represent a lot! Money equals security for some people, and their first instinct is to protect it. For others, it means freedom, so of course they're drawn to spending.
1. Talk in the Eye of the Hurricane
First, in the category five storm that is your financial life, remember to talk in the eye of the hurricane. One of the problems is that we usually only talk about money when there's a crisis, or when it comes time to pay bills. So, find time to talk about money outside of crisis mode. Perhaps learn about how money has played out in each other's life over a glass of wine, without talking about numbers, bills or credit cards. Wine makes everything better, if you ask us!
2. Put a Halt to H.A.L.T.S.
H-A-L-T-S. Yes, that's an acronym. Don't have a conversation about money when you're Hungry, when you're Angry, when you're Lonely, Tired or Scared. If you do, you'll end up in an emotional place and it's going to be difficult – if not impossible! – to just stay neutral and stick with the facts.
3. This is Why You're Together
We often find that opposites attract. And the point of conflict is also frequently where we're balancing each other. The reason you're fighting could be the exact same reason you fell in love to begin with. Stop and think about, "when I got together with this person, was one of the things that I enjoyed was that they could just stop for a moment and say, 'oh, let's just do this?'" Or on the flip side, "was one of the things that I enjoyed that I knew I could depend upon this person? They're going to make sure things are in order and that we're going to be taken care of."
4. Discover your Money Personality
Talking about money is so hard and so awkward, so Syble created a game to help couples break the ice! Money Habitudes makes it super fun and easy to discover your Money Personality. Want to check it out for FREE? Visit the official website here, and use the code "TheList." Normally a $15, this test will take a few minutes and it'll only ask for your email address.
So, when it comes to those tense money talks, loosen up! Remember that communication is key in all relationships and that one's personality around money might just be one of the reasons you fell in love in the first place.
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